It took all of my martial arts training not to lash out at her. I wanted to wring her neck and throw her in the street. I decided not to let her bait ...e."Did you ever love me?"She looked at me with an evil grin, but didn't answer. I could tell she didn't want to set me off before she was ready to go. The look on her face was my answer. Then, I heard a car horn blow in front of my door."You are one sick piece of work. You're lucky I haven't thrown your ass in the street months ago, I said. I realized that you earn the things you get in life. You sow the seeds of things you want and then pay the costs through sacrifice and effort. Then, when you have earned it, you reap what you deserve – money, power, love.Love was not smoke and mirrors. And faith and belief may help once you have earned it, but there was no magic involved. Love was a crop like any other and it must be sown to be reaped. I didn't receive love because I hadn't earned it. I had sown wealth and power and I had. I didn't have the job, the beach house, OR the Benz. All I had left was ... me. And the me that was left didn't have a prayer, even IF she thought I was a "nice guy".It was sobering to realize just how undesirable I really was, but then that was a realization I'd already come to grips with. I had absolutely NO chance with Deedee, and knowing that gave me a sense of calm. With a shrug, I explained, "First of all, getting into good enough shape that I don't feel like Mr. Potato Head next to these. "You know baby, you are probably overlytired and are going into a deep sleep too quickly or something. Imean you are only sleeping a few minute then waking up yelling." shesaid rubbing his back."You may be right Erica. It may be something that simple."Kevin began to fade now. His wife took his glass and helped him tolay on the bed. He looked at her with concerned eyes."Sorry honey, but you have been up for days. I slipped a littlesomething in your drink to help you sleep and stay asleep for.
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